Love
I don’t want a pretty face without a heart…
I want a girl who would look at me and say they love me.
Who would stick with me through it all.
And never let me go.
I’m not a child anymore.
I know what real relationships are.
And that one girl I’m meant to be with…
I’ll wait for her forever if I have to.
Hmm
Why do I feel like nothing’s going right? Sometimes I think I shouldn’t plan things and just let it all fall through. Love, Life, Studies, Career, everything… they all seem to go by me, let me try them but never seem to stick with me. I don’t know… maybe this is just a test or an obstacle that I have to endure or surpass. Then again maybe it’s something I’m just a little unlucky with. People say I’m bright, handsome, talented, and etc. But I just don’t match with what they say to how I see myself. Maybe I’m more than what I pry myself to be, or maybe I’m just another john doe without a glory in thy name. All will reveal in time. I still have a chance to open my eyes and see how things really look like.
Nothing…
It’s hard… staying quiet when all you want to do is shout your heart out. It’s like being angry but sad at the same time which makes it worse. I wish I could just be numb and felt nothing. Things are gonna change but when? Do I have to be hurt longer before I find my peace. Shit is just gonna happen. I fell for someone who can’t love me back. Every time I wake up I feel love for her, even with knowing she’ll never be the same for me. Just kill me now. Pffffff. Just go with the flow. What else can I do? Damn…
Dear me,
Sum of all things.
- I love you, even if you don’t love me.
- I’ll do this even if I don’t like it, coz’ it’s something that’ll help mold my future together.
- I’ll still fight, even though deep inside I need someone to talk to.
-I’ll believe in myself, even after all this.
And lastly…
- I won’t ever stop believing in GOD.
I know I’m sad, and alone. But somehow, I’ll get through this. Hopefully.
Soulmate
this is the only time i’ll ever have of expressing how happy i am to spend time with you. you only see me as a friend, but when i look at you all i see is how i want to make you happy and spend my whole life with you. i may not be the best, but i want to be more than that for you. i hope you’ll always be that same girl that smiles a lot and that no one would even try to hurt you. i’ll always be there to protect you and make you smile. this one thing i say, that even though you don’t want to be with me, i’ll keep in my heart that vision of you that would always make me smile. I Love You.
PAIN…
sadness, loneliness, bitterness, emptiness, nothingness, etc. a cruel vocabulary for those unable to fend for themselves in the never-ending struggle for one’s pursuit of “happiness”. I’ve been pushed down, beaten, torn-apart, lied to, and all that jazz. I always try to push myself back up, and some didn’t seem to care. Good thing I have God, and my family, including friends, to be there when I fall. They are my source of strength. They give me all the power to go on. But still it’s missing. That part of me that longs for love and affection. That side of me that no one seems to see, that’s ignored. I’m a cry-baby. I can handle beating up physically and give a hell of a beat-down, but deep inside I’m as soft as I am hard. I wanna cuddle close to someone I wanna share the rest of my life with. I wanna be able to hold someone again and just feel their heart beat because of me. But that’s never happening now. And I’m losing my will, I’m losing nerve of ever having that special person that will ask me how I was, or just prepare me breakfast, kiss me goodbye, hug me when I get home, and sleep next to me while I dream of her. I wanna be loved. I wanna be treated specially. In all of my relationships I’ve always given more than enough, but why do they still hurt me. Am I not enough? Do I not fit their expectations? It hurts, a lot. I just want someone to love me completely. And in turn, I’ll give all of me. I’ll never be enough for anyone. I’ll always be nothing more than the trash we throw away. “worthless”.
"
I’m stuck in the middle where I’m torn between
two of the most important people in my life…
I wish it was that simple to choose.
One, different from the other.
The one thing that my soulmate has that the other will never have…
Is that the feelings I have with her, can never be matched by the other, even when she was still here.
T.T lonely mode…
"having that one moment, one special instance that makes you chill down your spine and makes you smile… will be that time that my breath is taken away "
I’d love for a kiss… a kiss that will definitely mean forever.
For that one special moment with someone you truly love.
But…
I long for hugs more than kisses.
Coz’ a hug means more than that of a kiss.
It’s pure.
And it will never taste differently everytime.
Only feel and last a lifetime. :)
Just now…
just now… have I been able to talk to that girl. how i wish sometimes that I be more enough for her so she could notice me. kinda pathetic. but I still hope for it. am I always gonna be a friend? I hope not. but deep in my heart I know this is something that will happen or might happen for a reason. maybe someday she will. :)
